Monday, 20 December 2004, 0:42:03 EST

Life decisions are extremely tough to make. I suppose that is why they are called "life decisions." If they were as easy as figuring out where to go for lunch then what would be their point? If the results of the decision didn't impact you in some profound way then it wouldn't be much of a decision now would it?

Recently, I was presented with a path that would affect my life quite profoundly. At the end of the path is something I have wanted for a long long time. The problem is that the path does not lead to a sure destination. If everything were to work out optimally the destination would be sweet; it wouldn't be the land of milk and honey (not that I like either) but it would certainly be better in a lot of ways. But it wouldn't come without cost. The path would take me far away from what I know and hold dear.

For the first time ever I feel really good about school. I feel like I can actually graduate. I am actually looking forward to classes. I still need to apply myself better to the task but I have already improved so much that I am like a completely different student.

I have realized that I am a grown ass man and that I need to start playing the part. Piddling around isn't going to cut it any more. I have to make a decision and I have to stick with it. Whatever decision I make will have to take me somewhere and be able to sustain me and any desires or responsibilites I may have. I can't try for something that may not happen or, even if it does, not last and keep me in the same place. I have to decide on what has the greatest chance of advancing me. I don't think the recently revealed path can do that. I don't think I have the will power to make it do that. I sincerely hope that the path will re-materialize a couple of years down the road so that I can consider it again. Once I have completed my current goal, graduating, I will be able to make such a decision much more easily.

Maybe now I can get to sleep.

Categories:

I am glad that you changed the way you think about college. It is very frustrating and everything, but you need that diploma to get a better future. :)

Posted by Jacky on Monday, 20 December 2004, 8:46:06 EST.

You don't NEED it with the skills that you already posess. But, I understand your decision. It'll be big relief to get that done with.

Posted by Jason on Monday, 20 December 2004, 12:28:18 EST.

Aside from what I said in that late night rambling session, I need to finish school so that I don't feel like it has beaten me. Especially since I am not attending some place like Yale or even Georgia State.

Posted by James Sumners on Monday, 20 December 2004, 13:24:45 EST.

I'm proud of you, bro. More than I let on, most of the time. But many people look up to you, and it gives me pride to see you sticking to your guns. Whatever you do, you can always give me a shout if you need help with it.

Posted by Wolven on Thursday, 23 December 2004, 8:24:51 EST.

Sometimes you people are so vague. I am guessing we are either talking about a job opp, or a college change. I wish you luck in your decision.

Posted by Mr Frosti on Saturday, 25 December 2004, 20:41:51 EST.