Wednesday, 01 February 2006, 22:10:20 EDT
Quicksand. Some times I feel like I am pulling myself out of quicksand. It is as if I had been walking along, not paying attention, and suddenly found myself neck deep in the stuff. I feel as if I am having to pull myself out of it; slowly dragging myself to the other side. Some times I will be sitting in class, or doing homework, and think, "how am I going to do this?" To which I reply, "just suck it up and do it!" One more step closer to the other side. Maybe I am just tired of school and living pay check to pay check. Every day is nothing but wake up, go to work/school, come home, and do it again the next day.
I must admit, that since I started taking classes again fall semester 2004, I have come a long way as far as school is concerned. I still have a long way to go, though. Out of a 120 hour program, I have completed sixty-five hours; seventy-four if I manage to pass this semester, and it will be tough to do so. The two courses I am taking this semester are two of the hardest I have ever taken. Numerical Methods is a survey course and it is still a senior level course; the work isn't easy. The Transition to Higher Level Mathematics course is more my speed but it is vastly different than anything I have taken in the past year and a half. There isn't any calculating in the class; it is all about the logic of proofs and how to write them.
Part of the problem is how stupid I was when I started school. I wish I had been smart enough to understand what college is and why I should have been focusing solely on completeing it. I should be applying for my second degree this semester, not planning for the next semester of ... (view rest)
Thursday, 29 September 2005, 12:41:13 EDT
This past weekend I went out to Covington for the christening of Davin Wayne Davis; the youngest son of one of my oldest friends. On the way out there I started thinking about our time growing up which led to thoughts of another friend — Mick. Very few of you reading this will know who that is. Mick is the only person I have ever met that I have been able to start a conversation about techno music with and not have to explain a word of what we are talking about. Everyone else I have had educate. Some refuse to be enlightened [ ;) ] but most come around.
Any way, the first time I met Mick was when I stopped by his house because I saw Dennis' car parked in the drive way. I basically just knocked on a strange door and asked if my friend was inside and was invited in. So, I was chilling in Mick's room with Dennis and Gabe (another friend of mine) when Mick left the room to do something. While he was gone I decided to peruse the CDs behind is DJ booth to see what he had. Lo and behold he had a copy of Best of Rave: Volume 1. When Mick got back I asked him if he would play "Silicon Jesus" (a track by Psykosonik) and he wanted to know how I knew he had that. I told him that I looked at the CDs he had and saw the Best of Rave album. That was how we established our friendship — a mutual love for techno music without having to explain it to the other person first. But, Mick has been in and out of jail over the years (currently in it seems) so our friendship has essentially disintegrated.
Whilst thinking about all of this I decided to put my Psykosonik CD in and listen to it just to complete the reminiscing. The CD is still in my CD player and I was listening to it today while picking up lunch. The last track on the CD is one of my favorites and it was the last to play at lunch; ending just as I pulled into a parking space on campus. The song inspired me to kick it old school here and post the lyrics. So, here they are (I love this track — it rocks hard):
'i, Caesar Have Destroyed Faiths.'
'hail Caesar'
'hail Caesar'
'i, Caesar...'
'i, Caesar Have Destroyed Faiths.'
You Think Your Loving This, But You're Too Blind To See.
If I Told You I Was Jesus, Would You Turn To Follow Me.
Inside Of Me, Inside Of You.
The Myth That We've Been Coming To.
If I Spoke Of Eternity, Would You Crucify Me Too.
Why Build A Shrine To The Race Of Man?
There's No Separation.
Why Can't You Understand?
I Am God.
You Are God.
We Are, We Are, We Are God.
I Am God.
You Are God.
We Are, We Are, We Are, We Are God.
Give Your Money To Me.
Just Give Your Money To Me.
And I Can Set You Free.
'i, Caesar Have Destroyed Faiths.'
Look Deep Within You And See The Nature Of Your Soul.
Extend Your Mind And See The Essence Of The Hole.
Inside Of You, Inside Of Me. Free Will, Responsibility.
You Must Save Or Damn Yourse ... (view rest)
Monday, 22 August 2005, 18:57:05 EDT
For the first time ever, I took an unforced week off from work. Typically, the only time I get off is due to campus being closed for holiday. After six straight years it was time to take a personal week. I took the time to get some things done around my apartment and catch up on some sleep. I feel quite refreshed this week. The interesting part of the vacation is that it feels surreal. It is like starting everything at school and work as new again. Today didn't even really seem like the first day of Fall classes even though campus was packed. It is just very weird; I don't know how to describe it.
While on my vacation, I decided to burn a new CD to listen to in my truck. I was going to burn a copy of Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell but I was unable to find my original. Actually, I stopped looking for it when I came across my copy of the Butthole Surfers's Independent Worm Saloon. I purchased this album because I like the first track, Who Was In My Room Last Night?. Another track on the CD quickly became my favorite on the album, though. The track is number five on the CD and is titled Goofy's Concern. Before I share the lyrics with you I should tell you a couple of things about this band: 1) they rock and 2) they are as far from serious as any band can be. So, here are the lyrics for Goofy's Concern:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I don't give a fuck about the FBI
I don't give a fuck about the CIA
I don't give a fuck about LSD
I don't give a fuck about anything
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ... (view rest)
Saturday, 30 July 2005, 17:01:13 EDT
Categories:
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way
The time is gone, the song is over, ... (view rest)
Sunday, 19 June 2005, 16:30:22 EDT
Categories:
Since I haven't posted in a while, and my last post was so complicated, I figure it is time for yet another song lyrics post. Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite Guns N' Roses songs:
I been thinkin' 'bout
Thinkin' 'bout sex
Always hungry for somethin'
That I haven't had yet
Maybe baby you got somethin' to lose
Well I got somethin',
I got somethin' for you
My way-your way
Anything goes tonight
My way-your way
Anything goes
Panties 'round your knees
With your ass ... (view rest)
Saturday, 30 October 2004, 01:18:56 EDT
Tuesday I had about forty-five minutes to burn at lunch so I went to Best Buy to walk around and look at all the shiny things I wish I could buy. I looked at a new 19" LCD which I could have bought straight out. I looked at some DVDs and various other things. On my way out of the store I saw Appetite for Destruction sitting on a shelf at the end of one of the CD isles. The sticker said $12.99 but I decided to buy it any way because I really love the album. The price at the register ended up being $9.99 – bonus. Well, I finally brought the CD in from my car so that I could rip it and burn a listening copy for my car. As I sit here listening to the encoded files, to make sure they are good, I realized why I like this album so much. Every song on it is just plain good. It is true rock and roll. Everything I hear today is a poor imitation. The guitar and drums are there in today's rock and roll but the voice isn't. I have heard many songs start playing on the radio that I was really getting in to until the singer started whining. I think that if the band is going to play rock they need to fully sound like it. Probably anyone that is even halfway active could beat Axl in a fight but he just sounds like he is going to kick your ass. I don't believe you can truly call your band a rock band if the lead singer sounds like a, pardon the term, pussy. Plus, every song on the album actually says something. I can't say the same for most music now. For example, here is the text to Out Ta Get Me:
Been hidin' out
And layin' low
It's nothing new ta me
Well you can always find a place to go
If you can keep your sanity
They break down the doors
And they rape my rights but
They won't touch me
They scream and yell
And fight all night
You can't tell me
I lose my head
I close my eyes
They won't touch me
`Cause I got somethin'
I been buildin' up inside
For so fuckin' long
Chorus:
They're out ta get me
They won't catch me
I'm innocent
They won't break me
Som ... (view rest)
Sunday, 15 August 2004, 21:38:06 EDT
Categories:
There are things I will post soon that are of more interest than this but right now I just want to post the lyrics to BT's track Dreaming. If you understand the song then you understand my mood lately.
No words, no talk.
We'll go dreaming
No pain, no hurt.
We'll go dreaming
Walk with me,
The future's at hand.
Here with us,
Here where you stand.
We both know the power of pain,
We get back up and start it again.
With new hope, no place for tears,
Leave behind those frozen years.
Come with me and we'll go dreaming.
We don't know how it can be,
Searching out dignity.
Nothing can be as savage as love,
One taste is never enough.
With new hope, no place for tears.
Catch my hand and come with me.
Close your eyes and dream.
No words, no talk.
We'll go dreaming
No pain, no hurt.
We'll go dreaming
No words, no talk.
We'll go dreaming
No pain, no hurt.
We'll go dreaming
Walk with me,
The future's at hand.
Here with us,
Here where we stand.
We both know the power of pain,
We get back up and start it again.
With new hope, no place for tears,
Leave behind those frozen years.
Come with me and the dream.
We don't know how it can be,
Searching out dignity.
Nothing can be as savage as love,
One taste is never enough.
With new hope, no place for tears.
Catch my hand and come with me.
Close your eyes and dream.
No words, no talk.
W ... (view rest)